As I sit here in a moment of peace and quiet. I am letting the pride I feel stay. I do not allow myself to feel proud about a lot of things - THIS is one thing I am proud of. I have NOT beaten this beast I carry with me daily, however, class by class, sit up by sit up, making the right food choice by food choice - I AM BEATING this BEAST!
There is NO WAY I would be sitting here with this feeling without the support and love I have been blessed with. These feelings are much easier to type than say --- Anyone who knows me, knows I put up a pretty tough (aka, bitchy!) front at times. I think I am changing on the INSIDE as well as OUT. I am just overwhelmed with the kindness and support I have been shown during this quest for a new life. Could it be with losing this FAT I am losing all of this anger? As I re-read that sentence; it makes perfect sense to me! I am less angry, I am less jealous, I am less materialistic...I AM LESS MISERABLE! Huh! Who would have thought one had a direct connection to the other?!
I digress --- This entry is just my way of saying THANK YOU to every single person that has pushed me, supported me and even denied me a donut (I am not kidding, I used to go around to my co-workers cubicles and ask for "bites" of food! WHO DOES THAT? An addict.) Yep, that would be ME!
The first person to light the fire inside me; My amazing sister in law, Mischelle. It was right around the end of the year (several years ago) when a bet was made. My brother, sister in law, fiancee and myself decided to put some money on the table and bet which couple could lose the most weight. THAT my friends is where my actions started to change. As I worked with the weight loss program I came to understand that I needed help on the fitness end of things...I just could not get myself to workout! I HATED IT! Tammy changed all of that. She changed my life. She taught me, she put up with me, she called me out, she didn't listen to my excuses...she supported me every single day for 1 1/2 years. I truly love her; Tammy has since moved out of state; pursuing her happiness by following her dreams. We have not spoken to each other in months, I take comfort in knowing SHE KNOWS she changed my life. My fiancee, Brian. He met me when I was almost the heaviest I had ever been - Almost. He loved me then. He loves me now. He will forever be the greatest supporter that I have.(Side note - I remember going on blind date after blind date and being told TO MY FACE that I was just too fat to date. Then I met Brian. Almost 8 years later) --- He is the love of my life.
I feel as though I want to THANK everyone! As I am typing this all these little memories of people doing things that helped CHANGE my life! Even the tiniest of things...Sara (sorry for sounding like I am 12 years old --- She is my BFF!) I was standing in her kitchen just chatting and I was stuffing; and I mean STUFFING chips into my mouth. I knew there was no hunger involved here - I was stuffing because that is what a food addict does...Once Sara realized what was happening she grabbed that bag out of my hand with such force it scared the shit out of me! I could have consumed that entire bag in 8 minutes flat. THANK YOU, SARA! The hundreds of moments that I have had like that with different people along the way - added up are the moments that helped SAVE my life!
Since moving to a new city (same state - new city), I have been working out at the best studio gym in the entire world! I am not sure if I am supposed to get their permission to use their name but 2 Intense Fitness located in Jenison, MI is AH-MAZING! I have been working out here for a few months and I can honestly say - Each person there is CHANGING my life! The people that I have class with are THE BEST! They are supportive. They encourage you. THEY INSPIRE ME! Over time I have learned their names, I look forward to seeing them every night and I consider each of them my FRIEND...(some of them are my FB friends, so that HAS to mean something, right?!)
Kris, Matt, Taylor, Aaron, Karyn - YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO ME! You push, you yell, you encourage, you support...I say it often and I will say it again -" You are changing lives one class at a time! "http://www.2intensefitness.com/
This post is different than the others, however, I felt it necessary at this moment to say - THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Each person that takes the time to read this - You inspire me!
:). Kristy I would never think of you as a bitchy person. You are very kind and positive to everyone. Maybe that was the first step for you in this process.
ReplyDeleteYou are heading in the right direction girl. You finally got it....it starts with the INSIDE! Keep up the hard work.
ReplyDeleteKeep on keepin' on, gurl. SHOOT!
ReplyDeleteKristy~I remember when I first met you. You and Karla~Grand Haven~ started to hang out and I think you two met through a drama class. I instantly liked you because you had such a bright light. I'm so grateful that our paths crossed (again). Everyone we meet on our life journey is there to help us see ourselves when we're ready. We all have our "stories" which make us who we are today but thank God we don't have to BE our stories. Our anger is always a lid to something deeper. We all manifest that pain differently~food, drugs, alcohol, relationships, shopping, perfection, being competitive, being alone, having lots of friends around~you know what I'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing and I look forward to reading your blogs. You've touched many lives...you'll never know how many in this lifetime. You've touched mine and for that I am grateful~
Heart2Heart....Bobbi