I am a walking oxymoron...



Now this picture was from my surprise 80's themed birthday party a few years back - But the wind suit was tight!! It barely fit. I am pretty sure by the end of the night the a$$ of these pants were busted right out! That was such a proud moment for me...How embrassing. How sad.  



I searched all over the city of Grand Rapids trying to fix my fatness. Yes, you heard me right - I needed to find someone to fix this person that I had turned myself into.


Please understand I do not claim that these thoughts were/ are right. Read my words knowing that nothing I type is directed to any one person.


I had seen people that I knew and people I didn't know get "THE SURGERY" - I dreamed about having "THE SURGERY"...This surgery was the answer to ALL my problems! I would be the perfect person for any sort of gastric bypass surgery. PICK ME - PICK ME! I was morbidly obese. I could hardly breathe when I walked. I had asthma. I had to have all kinds of health issues that I didn't even KNOW about! I was on a mission - I went to doctor after doctor. I had test after test. NO ONE WAS TELLING ME WHAT I KNEW TO BE THE TRUTH! I was sick - I had all kinds of ailments due to being overweight. Guess what?! NOT TRUE! I was told time after time, test after test...I was the healthiest fat person that had walked into these offices. I had NOTHING wrong with me; outside of being morbidly obese.


Wait, could this be true? Outside of being FAT - I was healthy? Diabetes? NO! Sleep apnea? NO! Blood pressure was OUT OF CONTROL? NO! I got it...My cholesterol level was so high I was going to need medication for the rest of my life...NO! NO! NO! NO! I was just fat and had a food addiction.


I went to my primary care doctor and asked, "What am I supposed to do?" I was getting bigger and bigger and there was no end in sight. Poor me...Fix me...I need someone to save me. My doctor looked me right in the eye and said, "Kristy, you need to stop eating so much and get some activity in your life."


Please know that I had spent my life gaining and losing. I would gain 20 and lose 10. I would gain 30 and lose 20. I did have significant weight loss back in 2003. I had put myself on the Atkins Diet and lost about 60 pounds. It worked. I was so excited! I learned NOTHING by being on this diet. As soon as I started eating carbs again the weight came back with a vengeance! A few years back I did Weight Watchers; I lost weight. I learned NOTHING. As long as I was eating my points; I was golden. (18 ice cream bars...YEP! I was eating my points!) I had a proven track record of being able to lose weight.


My doctor did refer me to the best program that I have even been a part of! https://www.advantagehealth.org/services/weigh_to_wellness/
This program TAUGHT me. TAUGHT me my triggers. TAUGHT me that I self sabotage my successes. TAUGHT me how to eat. TAUGHT me what a serving size was.(Seriously, how many people think a serving of cereal is a bowl full? I DID!) This program was a 4 month program with weekly meetings rotated between the doctor, the nurse, the nutritionalist and the behaviorist. THIS PROGRAM SAVED MY LIFE! 

I truly believe that everyone that WANTS to lose weight and become a healthy person. WILL. They will find their moment. The moment that fuels the fire. I truly believe that I was not able to have "THE SURGERY" for a reason. I believe that I was made to do it the LONG way for a reason.

I am one of the most impatient people I know (every single person that knows me will agree!)...I half expect to wake up skinny every single morning. I deserve that, right? My mother is looking down on me with a pride in her heart but a smirk on her face - the most impatient person having to WORK for health and weight loss. HA! Oh Shirley...This fight is for YOU! (AND ME!!!)

Until next time...