This was me a few years ago. ALMOST the biggest I have ever been. The key word here is ALMOST. I do not think I can bring myself to post the pictures of me when I was at my heaviest. Baby steps...One fat picture at a time. To this day when I type the word FAT - It makes me sick to my stomach. Please do not take that wrong - I have a problem with the word FAT when speaking about myself. FAT has been my life-long partner. FAT has never truly left my side. I am sick and tired of FAT.
Honestly, this process started 8 years ago when my mother died. She passed away suddenly and that day has forever changed my life. I loved my mother more than I ever thought you could love someone; my mother let herself die. I say that with tears in my eyes...She could have saved her own life by taking care of herself. She was 52 years old when she died. She died a smoker. She died overweight. She died by her own choices. Her heart had enough.
When I was growing up I always wanted to be like my mother. I say this with LOVE in my heart; as I grew up I did NOT want to be like my mother. The day she passed away I decided that I didn't care anymore. I became a heavy smoker and I became a heavier person. I packed on the weight. 1 pound at a time. 1 pound. 1 pound. 1 pound. 1 pound. 1 pound. I became 330 pounds. I am 5"2. I succeed at becoming morbidly obese. Hell, I always wanted to be SOMETHING but morbidly obese? Not what I was going for!
My mothers passing is something that I deal with every single day that I wake up; THAT pain will never go away. It gets better. It becomes manageable. It will always be part of who I am. THIS blog is about my struggle with my weight, food, addiction, success, failure, health and support. Honestly, just typing these words gives me the peace of mind that every decision I have made; right or wrong & every event that has happened; good or bad, has brought me to the point I am SUPPOSED to be at THIS VERY MOMENT in my life.
Until next time....
I love you. You're an inspiration. You always have been.
ReplyDeleteGREAT start, Kristy! Love that you're a blogger now! Can't wait to read more of your posts.
ReplyDeletekristy...
ReplyDeleteWe have a similar story in our life. I think there is a reason we met... you are truly an amazing person... My mom passed away 8 years ago 1-27-04.... I miss her like crazy but she too chose her lifestyle. severely obese and complications with her diabetes and she had to have her leg amputated... My heart goes out to you, I felt like I was reading about myself.... I would love to talk outside of the gym..
Nicole
You are very brave. So happy you have the courage to share your story with others! Keep up the great work & positive attitude!
ReplyDeleteKristy,
ReplyDeleteI know that it took courage to open up about yourself and your struggles in life. I have complete faith in you that you can do this without a doubt! I can only imagine how hard it was when you lost your Mom but you are doing something to make your life better and that is a very good thing. I know the sweet, spunky Kristy I remember from high school can do anything she puts her mind to! I am glad that I found you again and I will continue to follow up on your progress! Praying for your success! Love ya, Misty ;)